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Thursday, 22 February 2018

Babylon 5 2-15: And Now For a Word

Episode:37|Writer:J. Michael Straczynski|Air Date:03-May-1995

This week on Sci-Fi Adventures, I'm writing about an ISN special report called 36 Hours on Babylon 5, except not really, as the text on screen gives away that it's actually Babylon 5 episode And Now for a Word. It's the series' first format-breaking episode but they didn't break it quite far enough to leave the title off or change the opening credits sequence. It's a bit disappointing really.

Oh, by the way, it's Babylon 5's 25th anniversary! The pilot movie The Gathering aired on the 22nd of February 1993, just one month after Deep Space Nine's pilot Emissary. I was late for the DS9 anniversary and I've missed Red Dwarf's recent 30th anniversary entirely, but this time I finally got it right! (Though to be honest I was planning to have reached the slightly more monumental In the Shadow of Z'Ha'Dum by this point).

Okay, this is one of my regular length reviews, which means I'll be sharing my thoughts on the entire episode and throwing out massive SPOILERS along the way. I'll likely end up spoiling a few of the earlier B5 episodes as well, but I won't even hint at anything that happens after it. Except for just then when I said that Shadow of Z'Ha'Dum is one of the more important ones.

It begins with a voice telling us that our regular evening TV is being interrupted by an ISN special program. So at least I'm not the only one who sucks at sticking to a schedule. It's also hypertext captioned, apparently, so I need to remember to tap the screen when I want to know more.

The voice continues by saying "September 16, 2259 and the Interstellar Network News presents 36 Hours on Babylon 5, with your host, Cynthia Torqueman." The late 2250s are a strangely busy time for science fiction, as 2259 is also the date of Star Trek Into Darkness and season 4 of Star Trek: Discovery (theoretically).

After the big shiny ISN logo's gotten off screen we get to see Torqueman sitting at the centre of this fairly terrible looking CGI newsroom. I keep expecting Star Fox or the Millennium Falcon to swoop in and start firing missiles into her desk, but I guess they're busy deactivating her shields at the moment. I was really impressed though that Babylon 5 totally predicted that TV news programs would start using virtual sets... until I did the research and discovered that they'd already been using them for years by the time this aired.

But when we reach the desk it cuts to a real set, with a really familiar back wall. Sadly sticking the letters 'ISN' on it hasn't made it look any less like Sheridan's office.

Torqueman explains that Earth has established outposts and colonies on over two dozen worlds in fourteen solar systems, and right now only Mars Colony is more controversial than Babylon 5. Seems that things still haven't settled down over there and separatists have been terrorising "the Earth-loyal majority". Somehow I get the feeling Mars Colony News would report that differently.

She's not too impressed by B5 either, using tiny unlabelled pie charts to show that public dissatisfaction with the Babylon Project has risen from 30% to 41% over the last two and a half years of operation. I'm not surprised really seeing as a war just started, though on the other hand that means 60% of people aren't unsatisfied; there's a fact that slipped by without comment.

The place makes for great news though, as the ISN reporters sent to record this documentary caught a space battle out of their window before they'd even docked. Well, actually it was just a tiny Narn transport firing a few shots at a puny Centauri transport, but you can't have epic dogfights along the length of the station every week.

I'm worried that my poor brain's going to have to work harder than usual to write about this one, as the episode's not just about the events transpiring over 36 hours, it's also about how the way ISN chooses to tell the story and the methods their reporters use. The episode's got an interesting title though, as 'and now for a word from our sponsors' refers to the ad breaks in a TV broadcast, not the content itself. It could just be a famous TV news phrase to indicate that we're getting a word from them this time, but with the glimpses we've had of Earth lately, it's possible it's a clue that those sponsors are writing the script these days.

And 36 Hours is being sponsored by...

Interplanetary Expeditions! The same folks that hired Dr Franklin's mentor to go dig for ancient alien bioweapons in season 1's Infection. Man, only Babylon 5 would have archaeologists sponsoring the news. It's interesting that back then the folks at IPX were so secretive that Franklin couldn't find any information about them and these days they're paying to have their logo on interstellar TV.

Coincidentally, Infection was also the episode where Commander Sinclair was harassed by a reporter wanting an interview, which he was keen to avoid due to a healthy fear of journalists. Writer JMS used to be a journalist himself and it's a subject he knows a bit about, but the way they're treated in Babylon 5 sometimes you'd think that reporters had ran over his dog or sent him a cute teddy bear with his initials on or something. Except for that ISN news anchor, Jane, she's always been alright.

Anyway, a terrible explosion, a conspiracy involving several of the main characters, lies, deception and the deaths of hundreds of people. All this and more, after the standard Babylon 5 title sequence.


I've noticed that when other TV series break format like this, they like to screw around with the opening titles as well to not break kayfabe. Not Babylon 5 though, as not only does it have the standard opening, it's also got the credits continuing over the start of act 1. Turns out Cynthia Torqueman's not a real reporter, she's just some actress! My immersion's ruined.

I'm also a bit put off by how much like a genuine news report this doesn't feel. Granted it's been a while since 1995, so I've forgotten what the news looked like back then, but seeing Torqueman repeatedly try to chat with Dr Franklin while he's clearly working to save wounded Centauri is kind of ridiculous. You're going to be here for 36 hours Torqueman, it can bloody wait!

Then it cuts to a much more professional chat with Ambassador Lon... well, you can read it off the screen. This is probably a good jumping on point for new viewers actually, seeing as it's literally a report on the station and the people who live there.

Londo was surprisingly likeable last episode as his genuine self, but here he's in full politician mode, saying what he thinks will score him points with his human audience. And he makes a good point when he says that Narns shooting down Centauri ships without warning in neutral territory goes against the purpose of Babylon 5. Plus the Centauri have always been good friends with Earth, and this endangers humans for no reason! Though he skips out the part where he deliberately started the war in the first place.

I think we learn here that the Centauri first encountered Earth 100 years ago, so you can add '2160: First contact with the Centauri' to your mental chronology.

Torqueman goes after G'Kar next, and their conversation is very different, as he's got no prepared statement and nowhere to sit. It's unclear whether ISN sprung this on him because he didn't agree to a proper interview like Londo did, or because they're deliberately trying to show him in a bad light. But he throws her a curveball to her question "Do attacks of this nature put everybody on Babylon 5 in unnecessary jeopardy?" by replying that they're already in more jeopardy than she can imagine and then disappears into a lift before she has a chance to ask him what the hell that means.

So the report cuts to Torqueman walking down the Zocalo, giving viewers some information on the station, and mentioning that many people actually live and work here, like that's supposed to be surprising to us.

Cut to Eduardo Delvientos from By Any Means Necessary! He seems a lot happier now, after Sinclair sorted out his budget and got him proper equipment.

He also reveals that Babylon 5 gets around 50, 60 ships coming through a day. Deep Space Nine, on the other hand, only gets 5 or 6 ships a week, so B5 wins this round.

Now it's Tech #1's turn, and after 11 appearances over 2 seasons he's finally gotten himself a name! He's still Tech #1 in the credits, but from now on I get to call him Second Lieutenant David Corwin.

Corwin finds that Babylon 5 is a calm, pleasant working environment, where no one really ever gets angry or yells at him, and he's not just saying that because his boss is behind him, glaring at him from across the room with enough force for him to feel it.

Next it's Captain John J. Sheridan's interview and he starts off with the old joke: "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps," which is such a perfectly Sheridan thing to say. This is why Ivanova can only take him in moderate doses. Then Torqueman asks if the changes in command are due to mismanagement or, as former Senator Hidoshi put it, "is this horse just too big for anyone to ride?" which kind of gives him two negatives to pick from. Wait, former Senator Hidoshi? That's an interesting fact to slip in there, seeing as he was maybe Sinclair's biggest supporter back home.

Then it cuts to Dr Franklin, with a message that space is dangerous. And to illustrate his point he decides the next two minutes talking about how he watched a friend accidentally space himself when he was a teenager.

Maybe this would've been the point to ask him some questions about the Centauri ship getting blown up. Or anything else.

Torqueman goes on to talk about how dangerous Babylon 5 is, listing all the people who've died over the last few years, but it's hard to pay attention when all the people in the background keep goofing around for the camera.

There were 6 murders and 3 acts of sabotage during year 1 (most of which during The Gathering I expect) and there's been 50 deaths by violence since then. So that's about... 1.35 murders per episode.

Now G'Kar's finally ready to issue a statement about the unprovoked attack, and he's got his crew behind him as a show of strength. He claims that the Centauri ship was secretly transferring weapons of mass destruction to be used in their war against the Narn, and there's no way they're going to allow B5 to be turned into a weapons supply post like this.

But then he has to take it just that one step too far, threatening to shut B5 down completely if necessary. That's not the way to win friends G'Kar.


36 Hours on Babylon 5 continues with Torqueman mentioning that figures released by the newly formed Office of Public Morale show that President Clark has risen to dramatic new levels of popularity! Though we don't get to see those figures, so it could've gone from 5% to 7%. Or maybe the figures are just wrong. Or maybe everyone really does love the guy.

WAIT, Office of Public Morale? Has no one on Earth ever read George Orwell before?
Anyway, with President Clark (allegedly) doing so well by focusing on Earth's problems first, do they really want to keep paying for a diplomatic station that mostly deals with other people's problems? Torqueman brings that question to Senator Ronald Quantrell from the Babylon 5 Senate Oversight Committee. You know, the folks that made B5 open up a gift ship last episode.

Senator Quantrell thinks that they owe it to the late President Santiago's memory to try to make B5 work. It did seem like a really good idea at the time after all, when they were still recovering from the Earth-Minbari War. Earth's military forces are far beyond what they were back then though, so he feels a diplomatic station doesn't really give them much concrete benefit anymore. He concedes that it's good for interstellar commerce and trade, but he seems pretty cynical about the whole thing for a guy who's chairman of the oversight committee.

Cut to Sheridan disagreeing, saying that Earth would get its ass handed to it in a war right now. It doesn't sound like the kind of thing a military commander wants to publicly announce to the other races, but hey I'm sure he knows what he's doing. He points out that every time a country loses a war, you get people like Quantrell who believe they could've won if they'd done the fighting. Torqueman puts on her smuggest smile and replies "Except of course, captain, we didn't lose the war."

Sheridan's so blindsided by this all he can say is "Of course." I supposed it wouldn't do him much good right now to go on a rant about how the Minbari had Earth utterly beaten, and only surrendered because they thought that Minbari souls were being reincarnated into human bodies. He also chooses not to mention that if Earth-Minbari War II ever did kick off, and we've seen from All Alone in the Night and There All the Honor Lies that it's certainly still possible, chances are that Earth would be left as a smoking rock surrounded by an orbiting cloud of wreckage and dead pilots.

Speaking of thoughtful and diplomatic responses, next to be interviewed is the "perky and energetic Susan Iva-nova."

Ivanova explains that they're currently analysing the debris from the Centauri transport for any trace of unauthorised weapons, but Torqueman also wants to know something about her as a person! So Ivanova reveals that she was born in Russia, was educated abroad (explaining the American accent), and she joined Earthforce to fight in the Earth-Minbari War after her brother was killed. Torqueman's sure that there's more to her story than that. Ivanova says "yes."

Now its Garibaldi's turn, and he's asked what he hopes for. He's got a few answers to that:
  • To not say anything that gets him fired.
  • To have a boring day for once.
  • For what they're doing on Babylon 5 to matter in the long run.
Then they go to commercial telepath Talia Winters, and... oh hang on she's not in this episode. Plus there's no interview with ace pilot Warren Keffer, and worst of all no Zack Allan!

Now Torqueman is down in the alien sector, which provides different environments for species that require them. "Ironically, 'the alien sector' in how the aliens here refer to the human part of the station," Torqueman notes with a smile, "proving once again that beauty... and the beast are in the eye of the beholder." There's no mystery what's in the eye of that pak'ma'ra behind her though.

The scene shows just how human-centric Torqueman's mindset is; the idea that others would consider her to be an alien is so alien to her that she considers it ironic. It also hints at how few aliens are on Earth right now, for any of this to count as news.

We learn that aliens make up just 42% of B5's population, which seems a little low considering it's a diplomatic and trading outpost. Then again I suppose the crew is entirely human so that sways things a bit. There's 6500 Earthforce personnel working on B5, compared to what seems like a couple of dozen on DS9, so B5 wins this round too. DS9 probably can't even compete on murders per episode either, they suck. All their numbers are worse!

Next, we see Torqueman trying to catch Ambassador Kosh Naranek (we get told his last name!) as he's leaving his quarters. But when he sees her waiting outside he immediately retreats and slams the door in her face! The cryptic bastard has finally encountered a being more irritating to talk to than himself, and he's not coming out until she's gone.

Delenn's not so wise this time though, as she agrees to speak to Torqueman, obviously having no idea what she's in for. The reporter gives her some easy questions at first to get her guard down, asking her to say a few words about her beautiful crystalline homeworld.

And then she brings up Delenn's transformation into a half-human hybrid, a massive life-changing irreversible choice that hasn't exactly been working out for the ambassador so far. She's been kicked off the Grey Council, other Minbari are calling her a freak, and now she's got all this hair that needs to be looked after. So she's a bit emotionally vulnerable right now, in a way that she never was in season one.

Delenn explains that she volunteered for the change in the hope it would create a better understanding between their peoples. Torqueman replies that a quarter of a million humans were killed during the Earth-Minbari War, and she thinks that their families would feel hurt and betrayed that Delenn's taken a part of us she's not entitled to. And Torqueman just keeps driving that nail home, as Delenn struggles to keep it together.

Bloody hell Torqueman, you're trying to make Delenn cry on camera? You utter monster! It seems like the ambassador has been saved from further embarrassment when she gets a call to attend a council meeting, but she's too upset to respond.

Though at least we got another fun fact out of Torqueman's cruel interrogation: if Babylon 5 ever blew up, the casualties would be equal to the loss of life during the entire Earth-Minbari War! If Deep Space Nine ever blew up you'd be losing like 2000 people, 7000 tops.

We then go to a council meeting, but the footage is filmed by Torqueman's shaky-cam so I struggled to get a clear screencap of it. I imagine the poor council members must be struggling to get a clear view of what's going on themselves with a camera drone hovering around in the middle of the room.

G'Kar's called the meeting because Ivanova's investigation has revealed that the Centauri vessel blown up at the start was carrying fusion bombs... plus support equipment for ion cannons, mass drivers and heavy-energy weapons! Because when the Centauri transport weapons of mass destruction, they don't fuck around.

Now Londo's changing his story, saying that the ships did have weapons, but they were transferring them outside the station, which they totally have the right to do! Except Sheridan disagrees: you don't pull that crap in B5 space.

Wow, I've just realised that Londo's back to his old purple jacket again. We haven't seen it in so long I figured his precognitive dream had inspired him to lock everything he saw himself wearing away in a vault somewhere, as a tiny 'fuck you' to fate.

Unfortunately, the council meeting doesn't resolve a whole lot, as their yelling match gets interrupted by a noise and the lights flickering.

The Narn are attacking the remaining Centauri transports outside, and B5's getting caught in the crossfire! I don't know what they hit to make the lights in the council chambers flicker, but it seems kind of serious and people are getting sent to shelters for the first time since Signs and Portents.

We don't get to see a crazy space battle this time, because all the footage is from mounted cameras on the ships or the station hull, but we get to see the little wireframe image of the station and the fighters around it on a starfury's HUD, which is cool. Reminds me of all the time I used to play space sims like TIE Fighter and Wing Commander, and not just because of the low res CGI.


Ambassadors Mollari and G'Kar are both saying that if B5 opens fire on their ships they'll consider it an act of war, but Sheridan doesn't give a damn. 250,000 people are at risk if this carries on, and the attacking ships have already managed to make the lights flicker just by shooting a few holes in the hull!

Meanwhile, Ivanova proves her worth as his XO by giving him a subtle reminder of the ISN camera in the room, to keep him from saying anything he'll have time to regret during his new posting to Space Siberia.

The episode hasn't always seemed like a genuine news report up to this point, but there's a shot here from a starfury's cockpit cam that feels surprisingly realistic, with the pilot giving a running commentary over the radio as he calmly locks on to his target and takes the shot... before ruining the effect by giving C&C a Top Gun flyby. Everyone else in the fight realises they're massively outgunned and had probably better stand down, so there's a happy ending!

Now it's time for G'Kar's proper interview, as he sits down and tells a story of the Centauri occupation of Narn. And he does it without ranting or saying anything about turning Centauri bones into flutes, so he's really going for sympathy here.

Roughly 150 years ago the Centauri came to G'Kar's world. The Narn greeted them in peace and spent the next 100 years in chains. So the Centauri occupied the Narn homeworld 50 years before making first contact with Earth then. It's a good job they were sick of fighting the Narn resistance by that point or it seems very plausible they'd have conquered us as well.

G'Kar shares a sad tale about how his father was a servant in a Centauri household, who was sentenced to death for spilling a hot drink. G'Kar was only a child at the time, but he came out to find his dad hanging from a tree and watched him die. Then he ran away to kill a whole lot of Centauri in the resistance. G'Kar compares the occupation to the horrors of World War II and even Torqueman can't bring herself to say anything mean him afterwards.

Well, she does ask him how he responds to reports that they're getting their asses kicked in the war, and G'Kar replies that they're not! Possibly the first lie he's told so far.

Londo, on the other hand, is right back on the bullshit train, talking about all how the Centauri civilized the Narn and brought them to the stars, but were repaid with terror and death! This isn't a case of Londo learning from Centauri-written history books, he knows full well what actually went down back then, he's just lying his ass off. Coming after G'Kar's tale it makes him look like an utter bastard. Of course, ISN chose to edit it this way, but they didn't really have to work hard to make Londo unsympathetic this week. He's as bad as we've ever seen him.

I really want to complain about the way the background stays the same size as the camera zooms in here, as it makes it look like the backdrop it is rather than a view of buildings hundreds of meters away. But I can't, because that's what would actually look like. Still seems so fake though.

And then a Centauri battle cruiser comes out of hyperspace right on top of the station.

Londo's a bit annoyed that B5 has been detaining and searching Centauri ships, so now he's got a ship outside blockading the station until he gets what he wants. Any ships caught leaving the station will be fired upon, and he's prepared to use deadly force... even against Babylon 5 itself! Man, he's an outright antagonist this week. What happened to the shouty comic relief with a heart of gold?

Plus, now that I think about it, he's still on Babylon 5 right now. So if it gets blown up he'll be inconvenienced as much as everyone else. He delivered the ultimatum with absolute sincerity but I have to wonder how involved he was in the decision-making process. We're missing all the scenes of him in private, arguing with Vir, so we're only seeing him as everyone else does.

There's something weird about this scene, but it took me a moment to work out what it is: there's music over it! The rest of the episode has been pretty much soundtrack free, but they've got an ISN jingle playing in preparation for another ad break.

Hang on, why is there a commercial on my DVD? And why does it looks like it's been lit and shot just like an episode of Babylon 5?

The advert features a young telepath talking to his mother about being bullied, when suddenly a Psi Cop materialises in their living room to tell them about Psi Corps testing centres. They're everywhere, for your convenience! And if he qualifies, they'll give him an education, a job and pay his bills for life! The advert skips over the part where he'll be taken from his home and family to be raised and indoctrinated by them instead. Plus the part about the drugs he'll have to take if he turns them down.

Two weeks later, the kid's wearing a suit, has his hair gelled back, and generally looks like a young fascist-in-training.

Don't they look so happy?

I mentioned earlier about this episode being a word from ISN's sponsors. Well, it turns out that Psi Corps are the other group sponsoring this particular report, and if we didn't already know that they're bastards, this screencap is a quick reminder. A really quick reminder, as this subliminal text is only on screen for a few frames. It's too long to count as an actual subliminal message in the US (and apparently the UK too, seeing as it's on my disc), but other countries have different rules so some regions have to miss out on it.

The whole thing is so cheesy, but then I guess they're going for that RoboCop satire, so it's supposed to be. Though there is one thing about it that impressed me: they didn't put the set together from pieces of Sheridan's office! It may be a generic living room set, but it doesn't look like anywhere we've seen before on B5, and for this series that's pretty incredible.


As we enter our 30th hour aboard Babylon 5, the crisis hasn't been resolved diplomatically and the report is strongly foreshadowing the deaths of hundreds. It's being vague for the sake of drama, but I imagine most 23rd century viewers would already know what happened from the regular news shows and Interstellar Twitter.

Sheridan may not be seeing eye to eye with Earth's government lately, but they're backing his play this time: B5's not releasing the Centauri ships and they will not be blockaded. The defence grid's active and they're willing to defend all ships entering or leaving the station.

Ivanova's fairly sure that the station could take on a Centauri cruiser with the new weapons installed in GROPOS, but Sheridan's hoping it doesn't come to that. Even if they're feeling confident, attacking the station will bring Earth into their war on the side of the Narns, and no one with any sense wants to fight a war on two fronts.

So they remote pilot a transport from the station right under the Centauri vessel and... they choose to let them go! Happy ending!

Except then a Narn cruiser jumps in and starts blasting pieces off the Centauri ship! Sheridan keeps trying to tell them that they don't need assistance, but it's no good. After exchanging fire for a bit (and accidentally sending some debris B5's way) the Centauri ship explodes and the damaged Narn ship blows up soon after. So there's your hundreds of deaths.

It cuts back to the studio, where a surprisingly even-handed Torqueman admits that this isn't really a typical day for Babylon 5. Plus even though the station's a flashpoint that can only grow hotter, "growth only comes through pain and struggle." That's... an interesting philosophy you've got there Cynthia.


The episode concludes with characters answering the question of whether B5 is worth it. Senator Quantrell doesn't seem so optimistic, but every single person on the station who's asked says yes without hesitation... except for poor G'Kar who doesn't know anymore.

Delenn and Sheridan give the most detailed answers though, with Delenn saying that it's important because humans are the only people who would build a community and invite aliens to live in it, and Sheridan feeling that they need to take a long-term view and build a better future for those that come after them.

That was actually pretty positive towards Babylon 5 in the end! I guess Torqueman wasn't so bad after all.


I never really thought of And Now For a Word as being an introduction for new viewers to get them up to speed the first time I watched it, but it totally is. It's a very atypical episode full of talking head interviews and it barely has a soundtrack, but it's loaded with exposition explaining who the characters are, what the station's about, and the story so far. Plus it's a good episode for fans of stats, because it's got all kinds of numbers.

But it also works as part of the ongoing story, showing us how the Narn-Centauri War has escalated to the point where it's at B5's doorstep and giving us an update on how things on Earth are going. The news is sponsored by IPX and the Psi Corps now, which rings all kinds of warning bells, but even though they played up the drama and were mean to Delenn they didn't do a hatchet job on Babylon 5 like I expected. The folks on Mars would be the first to tell you how fair and balanced ISN News is not, but they allowed viewers to judge the people involved by their own words, and we know enough about the characters to know they portrayed them fairly. I wasn't expecting a space battle either, and it's interesting to watch the action play out from fixed cameras without the dramatic music or editing for a change. I wouldn't say it looks realistic, because it's still cheap early CGI, but it certainly feels closer to news footage than a clip from a sci-fi action series.

It's just a shame that they didn't quite capture the documentary style for the rest of the episode, as to me this looks and feels just like a typical episode of Babylon 5. Sure having a presenter narrate the story means you can never forget it's a news report and the camera work got a bit more 'found footage' at times, but it has standard B5 cinematography and there's little that stands out about the editing or shots used that made me think 'wow this is just like watching a documentary'. I admit I'm not all that familiar with US news broadcasts from the mid-90s, but it fell short of convincing for me. I thought the actress playing Torqueman did pretty well though, somehow keeping her character just likeable and professional enough, despite her extremely Earth-centric viewpoint and her trite lines. And the fact she was mean to Delenn.

Overall I'd say it's about as good as the last few episodes have been; it's still a fair distance from greatness, but we're having a consistent run of decent stories since the series escaped that ditch it drove into at the start of season 2.

I should be moving onto In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum according to the DVD and airing order, but instead Babylon 5 will return with Knives. Though next on Sci-Fi Adventures, it's my Star Trek: Discovery season 1 review!

If you're in any doubt about whether you should leave me a comment, the answer is probably 'yes'.


  1. Happy 25th anniversary, Babylon 5! Stop making me feel old.

  2. You can tell it's the future because homes are built with random columns containing glass-encased fluorescent bulbs. Also, they're okay showing disturbingly suggestive end-table lamps right in prime time.

    1. I was going to mention something about that, but ultimately decided I should keep my review classy seeing as it's B5's birthday.

      (I forgot tbh.)

    2. I'm glad I could be the devil on your shoulder.

  3. Bruce Boxleitner's expression in that last photo is so adorkable. I was going to make a joke about the junk he's got on display behind him, but I have a life-sized plush Stitch doll wearing a pink bomber hat sitting on my laser printer, so I'm going to shut the heck up.

  4. "Torqueman" is a bit on the nose, isn't it? B5 is usually a bit better than that. Not much, but a bit.

    1. That would explain why I expected the Spanish Inquisition.

      Though to me Torqueman sounds like a brand of cordless power tools.